What is a Soul Tie? Spotting Signs & Solutions
Have you ever met someone with whom you just instantly connected? Where without saying anything at all, you just feel like you *got* one another.
It could be the relationship you share with your best friend, or perhaps you’re one of the lucky ones who feels that connection with your romantic partner. While some people see this as finding ‘the one’, others view this kind of profound connection as something deeper — with your souls tied together in a knot.
So, what is a soul tie? And, if your souls are tied together in this way, does that mean that they can never be ripped apart?
Whether you believe in all that spiritual “stuff” or not, soul-tie connections are not something to sidestep or skip out on completely…
- A soul tie is a concept that describes a deep, often indescribable connection between individuals. It transcends physical or emotional bonds, tapping into the spiritual or soul level. Originating from Christian beliefs and New Age teachings, soul ties encompass profound emotional, physical, or spiritual connections, not limited to romantic relationships but also including familial and platonic ones.
- Indicators include a sense of instant familiarity, intense connection or obsession, prioritization of the relationship, a feeling of completeness, difficulty in letting go, and significant timing in meeting each other.
- While soul ties can foster healthy relationships and personal growth, they also pose risks of emotional co-dependency, unhealthy patterns, and even abusive dynamics if boundaries are not properly established and maintained.
- There's no set expiration date for soul ties, they can last a lifetime or serve a temporary purpose in one's life. Some individuals might seek to break or distance themselves from soul ties, especially those that negatively impact their emotional well-being, through therapeutic or self-care practices.
How does a soul tie happen?
Soul ties are often associated with Christian beliefs, with a certain spirituality or purity naturally associated with these connections. While not mentioned explicitly in the Bible (or other religious texts), the concept of spiritual soul ties arose frequently in New Age teachings and beliefs in the 1970’s and 80’s.
Although some soul tie definitions thereby have strong religious connotations (or associations with Christ), the term soul tie can refer to any deep emotional, physical, or spiritual connection that is shared between two individuals. While most commonly witnessed between romantic partners, these deep connections can also apply to relationships with family members or friends.
A soul-tie relationship is often difficult to describe, with a bond so powerful and impactful that it goes beyond words. These intense connections can come in different forms, with some soul-tie connections providing stability and security, while others lead to codependency and other toxic tendencies.
Since there isn’t significant research to back up this concept, it’s difficult to explain how such an emotional bond can form within close relationships. Some people can be bonded through their emotional connection, through their physical relationship, or perhaps through a significant experience that they both share (whether a trauma or something as simple as being co-workers!)
Soul ties differ from twin flame relationships, as this kind of relationship stems from a wider belief system — that connects two people in another life and their journey to one another in this life.
What is a soul tie sexually?
There are many different types of soul ties to consider, with a sexual soul tie referring to the deep physical connection that two people share.
Some people believe that they are deeply connected to someone on a physical level after having sex with them. If this goes beyond the usual post-sex feelings, it can extend to a sexual soul tie — where you feel deeply bonded with someone after the experience.
This can be connected to hormones, such as the release of oxytocin after orgasm or intercourse can contribute to these stronger feelings.
The concept of ungodly soul ties is connected to this sexual element of bonding. According to certain strains of Christianity, sex outside of marriage creates unhealthy soul ties — that need to be broken to maintain purity.
What is a soul tie spiritually?
Spiritual soul ties refer to the strong connection that two people might share on a spiritual or moral level. For example, they might feel deeply connected due to their shared values or belief systems.
This kind of soul tie is naturally associated with religion once again, as your shared faith might bond you together. This isn’t exclusive to romantic relationships, as you might be tied to fellow believers due to your deep connection and bond through religion and faith.
What is a soul tie emotionally?
Emotional soul ties appear in intimate relationships where you have a profound emotional connection with someone, that goes well beyond the surface-level feelings or conversations.
In this instance, you may feel like you simply “get” one another on a deep emotional level — like no one has ever understood you before. This is common in close friendships as well as romantic ones, as you both feel like you can lean on each other for emotional support, as you can truly understand where the other is coming from.
Signs of a soul tie
Timing: While the circumstances might vary, you feel like this person walked into your life just as you needed them, and you therefore attribute great meaning to the timing of your relationship.
Obsession: Due to the intensity of your connection, you might prioritize spending time with them above all else. Unlike your other relationships, there is a certain level of obsession associated with your connection — as you just can’t get enough of one another.
Prioritization: With a soul-tie connection, it’s easy to use your relationship as a benchmark for everything else in your life. This can lend itself to a toxic relationship, as you push aside your other responsibilities in favor of fostering this connection.
Familiarity: Similar to the concept of soulmates, or even twin flames, you feel like you knew them before. This familiarity can mean that you feel totally comfortable around them, even if you’ve only known them for a short time.
Completion: When you meet, it can feel like the final puzzle piece of your life has slotted into place. While this might start out as a healthy soul-tie relationship, this concept of completion can lead to unhealthy behaviors down the line.
Letting go: When you feel so bonded with someone, it feels inexplicable that you might be apart. However if it becomes an unhealthy relationship, you may eventually have to walk away. Due to the profound nature of the connection, it can be all that bit harder to let go.
Can soul ties affect your mental or emotional health?
Due to the depth of the connection, soul ties naturally have a significant impact on your spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being.
While soul ties can contribute to the formation of healthy relationships, a certain balance must be struck to ensure such a deep connection doesn’t start to corrupt your own mental health long-term.
Due to their nature, soul ties lend themselves to the concept of ‘completion’, or that you can’t live without one another. This might seem romantic at first, but if no healthy boundaries are put in place — it can lead to unhealthy patterns of emotional co-dependency. These unhealthy soul ties can quickly spiral into abusive relationships, as there are so many intense emotions and feelings in play.
While emotional volatility naturally comes into the soul tie dynamic, it can be handled in a way that lends itself to both mutual and personal growth. Even though you might feel physically or emotionally tied together, both partners should continue to pursue their own individual lives and interests — giving each other space to breathe and grow.
Even though you might feel like you’re inexplicably tied together, it doesn’t mean that tie should suffocate your relationship. It’s all about balance!
How long do soul ties last?
There are no explicit expiration dates when it comes to soul-tie relationships.
For example, certain people might come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. This is particularly true of the kind of impactful and emotional relationships that soul ties foster, as sometimes they can be exactly what you need — even if that’s not forever.
While twin flames and karmic relationships have a more natural ending (due to their more fiery associations), soul ties are believed to never truly leave you due to the impact they have on your life.
Due to this longevity, some people focus on how to break a soul tie that continues to have an emotional impact on them (even if years down the line!) While it can be helpful to break them, it’s equally important to understand and respect these deep relationships — as they hopefully leave you with positive learnings about yourself.
If you’re struggling to distance yourself from a soul-tie connection, it can be helpful to seek help from a psychotherapist or mental health professional. Depending on the circumstances, they might be able to help you practice the kind of healing self-care, and reflections that you need to move on in a healthy way.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the difference between a soul tie and a soul mate?
Although soul ties and soul mates share many similarities, soul ties can refer to any intimate connection that you share with someone — whether on a friendship or romantic basis. However, soul mates are usually considered exclusive to romantic partnerships.Can a soul tie be formed through physical intimacy alone?
Sexual soul ties can be formed through physical intimacy alone, but they are usually felt on both a physical and emotional level — as you feel deeply connected to someone from both physical intimacy and your overall bond.
