Attachment Styles

By Pam Custers

12 Relationship Tips

Couple therapist Pam Custers teaches you the attachment style that you and your partner have, and how that understanding can improve your relationship.

Case Studies

Learn from case studies of couples Pam has worked with and how they navigated common attachment issues.


Put into practice what you're learning with exercises to do either by yourself or with your partner.

What You'll Learn

The attachment styles of you and your partner

How to successfully manage each other's styles

How to develop an earned secure attachment

Course Tips

Meet Pam Custers, relationship therapist and expert in the field of attachment. In this first session, Pam introduces the concept of attachment styles and provides an overview of what you'll learn in the course.
Where Our Attachment Style Comes From
Pam tells us how she came to understand her own attachment style and that of her partner. She then discusses how attachment styles are connected to our sense of safety and security and laid down in our early years.
What Is My Attachment Style?
There are three main attachment styles: Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant. Pam describes the behaviours of each style and gives you an exercise to determine which style you most closely relate to.
How Attachment Styles Impact Relationships
Anxious and Avoidant styles can negatively impact a relationship in different ways. Pam uses two case studies to illustrate this and gives you an exercise to reflect on how your attachment style may have impacted your present and past relationships.
Why Healthy Dependency Matters
Dependency is a concept that has been shunned in the past but is in fact vital for our physical and psychological well-being. Pam illustrates how dependency can be misunderstood and gives you an exercise to reflect on your own ideas around dependency.
I’m Anxious
Pam looks at some typical behaviours of Anxiously attached people and gives you four tips if you have this style. She leaves you with an exercise to recognise and deactivate your emotional triggers.
My Partner is Anxious
Pam discusses what it is like being with an Anxiously attached partner and some ways to allay their fears. She illustrates this with a case study and an exercise to do with your partner.
I’m Secure
Secure people also face difficulties in a relationship but they are able to get their equilibrium back quickly. Pam goes into more detail on the Secure style and gives you an exercise to help you become more secure in your relationship.
I’m Avoidant
Have you become a master at avoiding confrontation? If so then you probably have an Avoidant style, and in this session Pam gives you some tips to reduce its stresses on your relationship.
My Partner is Avoidant
Pam looks at some typical problems of being with an Avoidant partner and gives you some practical ways to build emotional connection. She highlights the importance of sharing your thoughts and feelings with one another.
How to Repair Disconnection
We all fall out with our partner. The secret of a healthy relationship is regaining connection when it happens! Pam introduces the concept of ARE conversations (Available, Responsive, Engaged) to repair emotional disconnection.
Wow, has this been some journey! Pam summarises the main ideas in the course and wishes you well in your ability to create a secure and loving relationship.

About Pam Custers

Couple Therapist

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Love More.
Stress Less.
A happier relationship starts here.